Sunday, May 11, 2008

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
(Answers given by 2nd grade children to the following questions)

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty
bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he
get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the
bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside, she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plastic surgery.
2. Dye it. You know, her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who
did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her
head.

-Received as a forwarded email (from a Mom)
Elgin Family News and Announcements

Prayer Requests: Etta Aites; Lindsey Baker; Monica Beasley; Adam Chambers; Savannah Davis; Jarod Draughn; Elsie Ellis; Kevin and Sheila Freels; Tim Freels; Rose Gibson; Heather Griffith; Sheila Griffith; Dorothy Hughett; Tiffany Jeffers; Teresa Lay; David Lowe; Shelly Marcum; Beverly Miller (Arthur's friend); Tom Miller (East Tennessee School of Preaching); Melanie Mitchell (wife of Wally's boss); Kim Neal & family; James Perkins; Dewayne and Wanda Phillips; Mark Posey; Tim Potter; George (Kippy) Reel (lung cancer, son of Clifford and Jean); Connie Ann Seabolt; Barbara Seibers; Tonya Sergent; Betty Sexton; Shane Sexton; Lloyd Shannon (Audrey's husband, Lucy's son-in-law); Darlene Slaven (Galen Anderson's cousin); Midge Slaven; Eddie Smith; Keith Smith; Claude (at Oneida Nursing & Rehab Center) and Fayrene Terry; Gary Terry (cancer); Brent Thompson & Karlie & Riley; George Thompson; Steve Thompson; Sammie Tinin (surgery June 10, ruptured rotator cuff); Glenn Young; AND Wally Baker; Emily Jones (comes home in July); Loseys; Justin and Sissy Smith & family will be flying to Tennessee from Utah May 18; Thornthwaites; others in our military, all who are traveling.

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BIRTHDAYS: Triston Brewster (May 15).

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The Area-Wide Potluck and Singing will be this Saturday at the Jamestown Church of Christ. Potluck-6 p.m.; Singing-7 p.m. (CST). Invite your family and friends - and share in fellowship, food, and song.

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The next Elgin Teen Devo will be Saturday, May 24, at 6 p.m. here at the church building. Everyone please bring finger food and drinks.

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We are in need of a teacher for the 5th, 6th, & 7th Grade class for VBS.
If you could help, please see Stan.

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Special thanks to Wil Thornthwaite, Kevin Freels, and Wendell Thompson for filling in while Stan and Pam were in Alabama last weekend.

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RECENT VISITORS: Keith and Carolyn Smith & Hayes of Allardt; Sue Edwards & Brooke McIlravy of Jamestown; Lily Barnhart of Livingston; Randy Sexton of Sunbright.

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FOOD PANTRY ITEMS

canned meats, canned potatoes
and canned fruits

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” -Proverbs 22:6
Motherhood
A. Described as: B. Blessings of:
Painful - Genesis 3:16 Fulfills divine Law - Genesis 1:28
Sometimes dangerous - Genesis 35:16-20 Makes joyful - Psalms 113:9
Yet joyful - John 16:21 Will be saved in - I Timothy 2:15
Object of prayer - Genesis 25:21
What is a Mother?

-Is she the one who gave you life?
-The person you talk with (instead of watching TV) at least 4 nights a week?
-The one who cleans the house, washes your clothes, cooks your food?

I'll admit, I've forgotten (sometimes) just what possessed me to want to be a mother. Recently, I was reminded of why. I watched as a young mother had tears in her eyes - because her youngest had diaper rash. DIAPER RASH?!? I know that doesn't seem like it should be a big deal (especially to men), but it was!
It wasn't the diaper rash - it was the fact that there was something wrong. Her baby was in pain, and SHE COULDN'T FIX IT! At least - not right away.
We're supposed to receive comfort (among other things) from our mothers; and this mom just couldn't give the comfort she wanted to be able to give. Which got me to thinking - “been there, done that”.
But I also thought - what has this mother given her children? Aside from the basic necessities, she has provided them with love, support, character, understanding, but most of all - HERSELF.
She is an amazing person - and one of the best mothers that I have ever known (and I know A LOT of people).
Watching this mother with her children makes me want to be a better mother myself. So…

What kind of mother (or father) do you want to be?
Should Probably Come More Often

A little child (in worship for the first time) watched as the offering was collected. When they neared his pew, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear, "Don't pay for me, Daddy; I'm under five."

(Serious question: How often are your children in worship? See Hebrews 10:25.)
"A merry heart doeth good . . ." -Proverbs 17:22

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the bride dressed in white?''
Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.'
The child thought about this for a moment then said, 'So why is the
groom wearing black?'

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, “They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, so I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.'

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, “Johnny, what is the matter?” Little Johnny responded, “I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.”
This Week's Bible Trivia
Please continue to pray for our military leaders and those who are serving under them and their families waiting here at home.
-In Search of the Lord's Way - Sundays at 7 a.m. on Fox 43 (cable channel 11).
-The Bible View - Sundays at 3:30 p.m.; Thursdays at 6:30 p.m. on cable channel 5.
-Preaching the Gospel - Sundays at 7:30 a.m. on WBXX 20 (cable channel and at 8 a.m. on Direct TV channel 321.

Our congregation members are striving to each read through the Bible in a year. The web page address for each month's schedule is shown below. It will open in a new window, so simply close the window in order to return to this page.
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For questions on the bulletin, please contact Debbie Anderson: danderson63@yahoo.com

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